Posted October 1, 2016 on xonecole.com
I was in 7th grade when I first kissed a boy. His name was Will. We were young lovers in every sense of the word, and when it finally happened, we were both excited about our first time experience.
He told his friends, who told others, which resulted in me being slut-shamed for not sleeping with he or his friends. For years, I was heartbroken about how my first time experience turned into a complete disaster, and the slut-shaming left me scarred and weary in my relationships for a long time.
Unfortunately, I’m not the first girl to have been slut-shamed, and I won’t be the last. Studies show that girls as early as 11 or 12 are taught to avoid or isolate other girls who have had sex, while boys the same age are rewarded for the same behavior.
This is why I’m here for Amber Rose’s #SlutWalkLA. This weekend, she held her 2nd annual anticipated event to help change the idea of slut shaming. Last year, the event received coverage from numerous media outlets across the world, and this year is no different.
She pulled out all the stops with the infamous “wall of no shame”
Last year the most monumental part of the event was when Amber told her personal story of being slut shamed at age 14 (when she was still very much a virgin), and later in life by her two very famous former lovers.
She said of those relationships:
“In 2009, I met a very famous man and he’s about seven years older than me. And we fell in love, and it was awesome. We were together for almost two years, we traveled the world together, we went to fashion week, we were fabulous, and everything looked so amazing. And then we broke up.
Sh*t happens. We have relationships, you break up, sh*t don’t work out.
I was just a regular girl from Philly. I never asked for fame, I never put a gun to anyone’s head to make me famous. I never dated a man to become famous. I dated a man because that’s what my heart told me to do at the time. Unfortunately, I was extremely slutshamed. I was called nothing but a stripper, why would he ever be interested in me? I’m just a baldhead stripper from Philly. I was a gold digger….apparently he had to take 30 showers after being with me? That’s what he said, I don’t know.
That happened, and then I meet my husband Wiz. He just came in my life like a big ton of love. He was just the most amazing guy I ever met in my whole entire life, and we have a beautiful son. We are separated now, but we still love each other. And then in the midst of being hurt, if anyone has been through a separation and divorce, you know it’s a lot of feelings involved and it’s a very difficult time.
He went on to make a song saying, he fell in love with a stripper, he fell out of love quicker. As you can imagine, with him being the love of my life, regardless of if we are going through a separation or not, that was extremely hurtful. **cries**
So, he came out with that song and that really hurt me because all I did was ever love him. I loved him so much and gave him a beautiful son, and to be told I was nothing but a stripper…it hurt.”
What made Amber’s speech even more powerful was her encouragement of forgiveness. She went on to say:
“So, I decided to have this Slutwalk for women who have been through sh-t. And even though I’m up here crying, I want to be the strong person that you can look up to and know I do all of this for you guys.
Moving forward I want to forgive Kanye for what he said about me. I want to let all of that negativity go. I also forgive Wiz for what he said. Wiz apologized to me already, so I’ve already forgiven him.
I suggest you guys do the same, and I’ll tell you why. They are ignorant at times. People are ignorant, and you have to be the bigger person and be the positive person to forgive and move on and help people around you that have been through the same thing. If you hold on to that negative energy and it still hurts, that’s why I am up here crying because it still f-cking hurts but let’s all come together and be positive role models for each other and let that negative sh*t go.
Very powerful words indeed. In the end, we have to remember that everyone is human, and everyone has feelings – especially my ex Will.
When I visit my hometown, Will and I are both happy for the people we ended up marrying, and we still respect each other as good friends. But he would be the first to tell you that he feels awful for how he treated me in the past.
While I was deployed in the military in 2007, he ran into my mom while they were both out and about in my home town. He asked my mom how I was doing, and because she’s my mom, she couldn’t stop bragging about how she was so proud of me.
She told me that Will told her to tell me that he felt awful for how things turned out between us. The icing on the cake? He told my mom that he felt even more awful for allowing his friends to choose who he had feelings for, instead of going with his gut instinct.
My mom was a little shocked, and made him admit that he should have chosen to be with me instead, because she’s petty. But I was grateful for the apology. I’m not mad at him at all, and I hope that our experience is something he could share with his own daughter, who is a beautiful teenaged girl…and may one day experience the same treatment from some guy who doesn’t know any better.
What did you think of Amber Rose’s emotional speech?